Verbal Self-Defense Dojo: An Online Training

Mansplaining, manterrupting, minimization, harassment:
Learn how to play when you don’t know what to say.

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This course is an experiential, interactive tool that will train you to fight back when you're under attack.

In four practice-filled modules, Kasia teaches a series of simple, practical steps to apply when you’re challenged or undermined.

Ready to start your training? Click here.

 

When women are challenged, undermined, or harassed, our culturally conditioned default is to go silent. To shut down.

This course retrains the conditioning that keeps women silent.



Is this course right for me?

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  • Have you ever been left feeling small or unsafe due to a sexually suggestive comment, but dismissed it because you weren’t completely sure of the intentions behind it?
     

  • Have you ever entered a conversation wanting an apology, only to wind up apologizing yourself?
     

  • Have you ever stepped into a scenario ready to ask for something you wanted, but walked away with something entirely different?

These scenarios all follow similar communication patterns that can render a woman totally speechless.


You'll learn to . . .

 

GET YOURSELF OFF THE SPOT

Women have been conditioned to freeze or shut down at the very moments that are most crucial to our self-preservation. Learn the shockingly simple way to end that pattern forever.

 

HANDLE UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS POWERFULLY

There is no reason to answer questions you should never be asked in the first place! Gain tools to smoothly deflect or reject those inappropriate, prying, and otherwise thorny questions.

 

CUT THROUGH AMBIGUITY

Gain strategies to discern the intent behind an uncomfortable question or statement. Determine whether you’re dealing with an aggressor or a well-meaning klutz and deal with them accordingly.

 

RESPOND WITH THE RIGHT INTENSITY

Never bring a knife to a gunfight. Know how to modulate the intensity of your response based on the intensity of the challenge or attack.

 

FLIP THE POWER DYNAMIC

Learn techniques to free yourself from uncomfortable or inappropriate situations without appearing aggressive or shutting down.

 

The Verbal Self-Defense Dojo had a powerful and immediate impact on my ability to navigate both professional and personal situations. I work in engineering where there are always more men in the room and many of them use aggressive tactics to dominate the conversations. The techniques I learned through VSDD helped me recognize faster when they start to ‘Dom’ me in a discussion, and then respond more quickly to shift the focus of power.
— S, NYC

What makes this course unique?

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Practice Over Theory

Verbal Self-Defense Dojo is entirely practice based.  Kasia will walk you through real-life scenarios and help you train to have a greater range of instinctive responses.

 

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Real Life Scenarios

This course trains women to overcome the common experience of "freeze" that shuts women down in critical moments, leaving them speechless.

 

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Lifetime Learning

Verbal Self-Defense Dojo is a toolbox you can use this course again and again as you gain mastery the skills.

 

How do I sign up?

Discounted rates are available for educators, activists, and employees of 501 (c) 3 not-for-profits. 
Please send an email with proof of status (photo of your ID, or your work/school email) to receive a special discount code to admissions@kasiaurbaniak.com
 

I’m better able to control any negative emotional responses I might have to my co-workers’ actions that I used to perceive as attacks because I can better read their intentions.
— Samantha Levin

Take back the power that was always yours.
Reclaim your voice.

Use it to create a better world.

Frequently Asked Questions

 

Is Verbal Self-Defense Dojo only for women?
People of all genders can find themselves rendered speechless in the face of inappropriate or shocking comments. While this course was created specifically to help women find their voices instead of freezing in those moments, the skills covered in Verbal Self-Defense Dojo can be used by people of any gender, in a multitude of situations.
  
Should I wait to take an in-person course instead of purchasing this one?
Verbal Self-Defense Dojo makes a great companion to Kasia’s in-person teachings on the subject.

The NYC classes allow us to get into greater depth with live demonstrations, while the virtual class allows each student to practice getting herself out of a frozen, speechless position.
 
Do I need to take Verbal Self-Defense Dojo at a specific time?
Nope! This class is delivered asynchronously, which means you can start it whenever you want, at your own pace. We encourage you to repeat it as many times as possible, since practice is essential to the integration of these new skills.

Who can I practice my new skills with?
We strongly encourage all our students to share these techniques far and wide! We even suggest taking the course live with a group, so you can be inspired by each other’s creativity and cheer one another on in expanding your abilities to respond to situations that once might have left you at a loss for words.
 
How long should it take me to complete the course?
The full course lasts about four hours.  You’ll have lifetime access to Verbal Self-Defense Dojo, so you can feel free to break it up according to your schedule, and repeat it until the skills become second nature. Many of these techniques fly directly in the face of the way we’ve been conditioned to respond to challenging social situations, so we encourage you to keep practicing until they become second nature.

Can I teach these tools to my friends? 
Please, please, talk to your friends about these tools. Our deepest desire is to have as many people as possible learn how to communicate clearly, how to stop being frozen when we’re caught off guard. Imagine a world where every woman is able to advocate for herself, in the moment.

Cool! So can I share my login info with friends?
We’ve put a lot of time, thought and care into the Verbal Self-Defense Dojo, and we’re charging for it because we believe it has value. We ask that you respect the effort that went into the course and do not share it without permission.

Can I host a group training session?
If you’re interested in hosting a group session, contact us

What if I still have questions?
Send us an email using the form below and someone from our team will be in touch shortly. 
 

 
 
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